Sunday, 27 July 2008

Diana Watch

Oh good, some more wedding photos! I’ve seen so many. These are the official ones, which are great; don’t get me wrong, but so many photos. I would like to start this week with a question that I’m sure you will all have an opinion on, are Nickleback the worst band ever, in the history of everything? No mentions of Princess Diana this week but not you expected any did you? Although there were 3 uses of the word “stunning” by my Mother this afternoon. I’m pretty sure that this is the only descriptive noun she knows.

You have to admire the Governments sense of timing. In a week that began with more revelations about the marking of SATS tests, by a private company, a not for profit company I grant you, but a private company with a terrible worldwide reputation for messing up test marking none the less, they announced that they would like to privatise some aspects of the welfare state. I’m sure this can only go well. Private companies are to be used to “help” the long term unemployed back into work by not paying them benefits after a shortish period of unemployment. They are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start. This is a system similar to one used in some American states were, if people don’t find jobs, they have all their benefits stopped and they are left to fend for themselves surviving on food stamps and hand-outs. Now I know that I am a bleeding heart, weak willed liberal but that really doesn’t sound like a nice way to run a system to me and when challenged about this rather nasty sounding policy the Minister in charge of introducing it said that this was the point were other benefits would kicking in so no one would go hungry. I’m sorry? They would then get other benefits? Then what is the point in changing the system? Where are the fiscal saving in this plan then? I genuinely don’t understand. There is also the point that they decide to change the system and make it harder to get the benefit just as we are in this “necessary downturn in the economic cycle” as it was described in The Economists podcast, ah the loving, caring views of the capitalist. At a time of rising unemployment and rising prices, your caring, sharing Labour government want to make it harder for you to get support. Yes, the idea is to give the companies incentives to help you find work, I refuse to use the word “incentivise” because it’s horrible, i.e. they get paid for finding you a job regardless of what that job is or your qualifications are, out of work teachers burger flipping or engineers cleaning toilets, but, as is my understanding, they don’t get a financial punishment for not finding you a job and leaving you with no unemployment benefit. I’ve just had a thought, this is dependent on how much each person who is found gainful employment is worth to the company though, why not employ them yourselves? You get paid for finding them a job, they get a job and unemployment is down. It’s a win, win, win situation. Obviously it will only work if they get more for finding them a job than they pay them but I think it’s worth looking into.

There was a terrible story on the front of our local paper this week. The story was about a married couple who were also local councillors and were both Liberal Democrats but the husband has now decided that he wants to be a………….., I can hardly bring myself to type it, a tory. Can you imagine the suffering of the poor wife? You devote your life to someone and you think you know someone. Why couldn’t he just be gay or wanted a sex change? Why a tory? The shame will never end.

Top night out this week. We went to see the comedian Robin Ince on Friday evening at the Dorchester Arts Centre. Significant other did refer to him as Paul Ince a couple of times which was funny when we remembered that Paul Ince was a black footballer and Robin Ince is a white, book loving comedy performer. This show was the last of a 5 month run, 1 show a month, which Robin has done in Dorchester in order to work on new material and to try out new ideas. Previous to seeing him we have been listening to his podcasts, there are 6 on Itunes and 6 on the Paramount Comedy website and they are very funny indeed, check them out, go on, you know you want to, Josie Long is also on them and she is very nice. The show itself was very funny, a little disjointed but what do you expect form a man with a new baby how hasn’t slept properly for 4 nights and is reading various subject lists from note books. It made me laugh and that’s the important thing here.

And so to the awards,

Man Who Annoyed Me The Most This Week,

We have a runner up and a winner this week. The runner up is Matthew Taylor, a Lib-Dem MP, who wrote a report called 'Living Working Countryside'. Mr Taylor notes the high degree of planning in Poundbury, my personal hell, its community spirit and the quality of its design and architecture. No, you are wrong. It was designed in 1850 at the latest and it has no community spirit. Most people there don’t get along and they have nothing to do with people from Dorchester. It is a disgrace. It is all that is wrong with main stream British house design and building. You are wrong, you tasteless fool.
The winner, however, is some teenage boy who was in the Gardens yesterday afternoon with his friends and seem to be convinced that he was some sort of rapper. He did at one point bellow across the Gardens to his friend, “oh, Brian, where’s your bitch?” I’m sorry, you’re Bitch? Oh please. This and his really bad rapping that seemed to emanate from nowhere and for no good reason which at one point did prompt one of his drinking biddies to shout “for god’s sake! Shut the fuck up!” and this was his friend. If all teenagers are that annoying it’s no wonder they all seem to get stabbed.

Idiot Of The Week,

A man was taken to hospital today with burns after an explosion in his garage. He was trying to make his own Bio-diesel.

Sorry the awards are a bit negative this week, I’ll try and be positive again next week.

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