Sunday, 6 July 2008

Diana Watch

So I confidently said that Diana Watch would be back on Sunday, which it, technically, is, but I foolishly assumed that I would have a normal sort of “on holiday” week but I haven’t. Not going to moan though because I’ve had a lovely week and I’ve not done much. A certain lack of commitment form me if I’m honest but as far as I can tell there have not been any Diana based headlines this week.
The problem with doing this thing every week is the fact that I have to wade through the bucket of crap that is the British press on a daily basis and the Sunday’s are the worst as most of them are obsessed with someone else’s sex life. It’s the most depressing thing in the world I promise you. If you look at the front of the papers every day you world view will be become deeply depressed. I know I don’t have to do it but my ego is such that this weekly venting of my spleen is very useful to me. I’m pretty sure that my generation will be the first generation not to contribute anything meaningful to society. We will have given the world rampant consumerism that will devour the world and Big Brother and Heat magazine. But this is the view you get from the British press and it’s not really correct. The attitude that they have to the current generation of teenagers was neatly summed up by My Chemical Romance when they said “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.” Now it may sound like Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by the Beatles but it sums up the British presses attitude to teenagers perfectly in the same way that the Kaiser Chiefs got Daily Mail and Express readers exactly when they said “We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day, we know who we like, we know who we hate but we’re also easily swayed”. What is true is that this is the first generation whose life expectance is shorter than that of their parents, because of the drinking and eating far too much, so in some ways we are a very unselfish as we are sorting out the pensions crisis with no help from the Government as we won’t need them as we’ll all be dead before we can claim them. Ah, that warm feeling you get when you help others or it might be chest pain, who knows.

Some awards then,

Girl Most Likely To Be Crushed By The Press As She Grows Up,

Congratulations to 14 year old Laura Robson who won the junior Wimbledon championship yesterday in a flurry of positive press i.e. on the front of all of today’s papers declaring her the next great British hope. Please somebody protect her from them because they will ruin her. And while we are talking about tennis I would like to point out to those who keep saying “Well, Andy Murray is still young, he will improve”, Rafa Nadal is only 6 months older than him. I don’t want to be down on Murray but he really does have on awfully long way to come if he wants to win anything. He was crushed by Nadal.

The Scare Yourself into Recession Award,

This goes to all the British news outlets that constantly go on about how bad the financial situation is and then act surprised when they get one of those pointless consumer confidence surveys in and wonder why everyone seems so concerned about it. And a special mention to British banks who release surveys about the reductions in Mortgage approvals being down when they are the ones who approve mortgages. Way to talk yourself into a housing market crash. If the Banks are so concerned about the drop in mortgage approvals than approve some more, it’s quite simple. What they don’t seem to understand is that these things are self-fulfilling prophecies. You constantly go on about how crappy the housing/financial markets are and they will become so.

Best Television of the Week,

Clearly this has to go to Dr Who which was bloody fantastic. Brilliantly written and some fantastic acting, especially from David Tennant and the underused and underrated Bernard Cribbins who, with David Tennant, extracted a small tear from my eye in the last scene. Top work all round. Thank you BBC.

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