Sunday, 1 June 2008

Diana Watch

Afternoon too you all, are we all well today? Good, glad to hear it. Anyway to the main point of Sunday (am I overstating the case? I don’t think so), Diana watch is upon us again. Can you guess how many headlines there have been this week? Yes that’s right, none. Not a thing, again. Ah well can’t be helped. At least I get to look at the fronts of all the papers and make up my own stories to the headlines. This is a fun game; I recommend it to everyone, tis most fun.
Sports headlines for the week. England football games are boring and very fast running man set new world record for the 100 metres. The first one is pretty self explanatory. I watched the first half of the England game on Wednesday evening and it was so very, very dull. I turned over and watched something else.
Too the second one, Usain Bolt set a new 100m world record by clocking 9.72 seconds at the Reebok Grand Prix meeting in New York. The 21-year-old Jamaican, who won silver in the 200m at last year's World Championships, was running the 100m for just the fifth time. Earlier in the year he ran, what was at the time, the second fastest 100m ever and at that point made no secret of the fact that he saw himself as a 200m runner and hadn’t decided if he was going to the run in the 100m trials for Jamaica but now that he is the fastest man in the world he is going to put in the effort.

Some graffiti from Charing Cross station “Bob Dylan isn’t interesting”

Terrible Shame of the Week.

The “party” on the underground that was to celebrate/commiserate the banning of alcohol on public transport in London turned into a bit of a disaster because some people get really, really drunk and broke stuff. Stupid bastards. This is what annoys me about some people. Everyone else thought it would be nice to have a little drink on the underground and have a laugh but no, twats drink too much and punch underground staff and ruin it all for everyone. If you are one of these people please get on and die.

Most Ironical Named Submarine of the Week.

A British nuclear-powered submarine has crashed into a rock in the Red Sea and damaged its sonar equipment. The submarine had just passed through the Suez Channel when it struck the underwater pinnacle. The damaged forced it to the surface and the navy are trying to work out how to get it home. The submarine is called HMS Superb.

Strangely Pointless but Heart Warming Protest of the Week.

Lots of lovely Emo kids marched on the offices of the Daily Mail yesterday to protest about the way that paper has represented them since the suicide of 13 year old Hannah Bond. The paper has descried Emo as a cult of suicide and self harm, blaming most of it on My Chemical Romance. There is a “black Parade” joke there for the making I think. "It's been brilliant, such a good atmosphere. We've all united for a good cause," protestor Katie Hughes, 15, from Dorking told NME.COM. "Most people here always listen to My Chemical Romance positively." Children marching against the Daily Mail! Oh yes, it gives me a little warm feeling deep inside my cynical heart. It seems there may be hope for us all. Even though there were only about 40 or 50 of them in the end I salute every single one of them. Also the website is cute emo fun, especially the How To Not Get Arrested part.

“Celebrity” Idiot of the Week.

This is a bit of a difficult one this week but I think I will give the runner up prize to Naomi Campbell who appeared in court this week, again, charged with assault, again. For gods sake put this nasty woman in jail and have done with it. But we do have a winner and it is, drum roll, Sharon Stone who said at the a Cannes Film Festival red carpet, "I'm not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else," she told a Hong Kong TV crew.
"And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, 'is that karma - when you're not nice that the bad things happen to you?”
Celebrities are stupid, throw stones at them.

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