Sunday, 25 April 2010

Diana Watch

So when you are in the company of a group of woman and they ask, in general, why their lives are a little hard, the correct answer is not “because you tricked us into eating the apple, it's your own fault”. Just a little bit of social etiquette advice for you there.

Do you know how much water your jeans used in their production? No? Well let me tell you, it takes 10,850 litres per pair of jeans. This massive figure includes the water used to grow the cotton and what is used in the factory.
 Ok, how about a pint of beer? 1 pint of fluid, it can’t be that much can it? 150 litres apparently.
 The Engineering the Future alliance of professional engineering bodies has released a study (I know I said I wasn’t going to cover “Studies” but I don’t think that this is a PR puff piece) in order to show the hidden amounts of water being used (most of it aboard) to make our stuff.
 It is estimated that you (and I) use about 150 litres (about a bath full) of water everyday but that is only the water that we see, up to 10 times as much is “embedded” in the British made goods bought by consumers. This, however, only represents about one-third of the total water embedded in all the average consumer's food and goods, with the remainder coming from imports.
 Forecasts suggest that when the world's population soars beyond 8 billion in about 2030 the need for fresh water rising by 30%. Developing countries are already using large amounts of their water to grow food and produce goods for consumption in the West.
 This really can’t end well. If the Gulf war was fought over oil, as many claim, how long before we have wars over water?

Here we go again,
Gays, blamed
The Media, blamed
The Devil, blamed
and so, who or what else can they blame? Ah I know, how about you blame the Internet.
Another week, another Senior Catholic Priest not taking responsibility for the actions of their colleges and trying to shift the blame. It's not the fault of the person who did the child rapings, oh no. See how many external factors we can find. I will stop going on about this when they sort themselves out.
 Step up Bishop Felipe Arizmendi, it's your moment in the, being-mostly-ignored-by-the-mainstream-media, sun.
Oooh, just a brief aside before the main story. Whilst I am wondering why the press seems to be going a little easy on the Vatican, it seems that if you make films and are convicted of having sex with a 13 year old girl at the home of Jack Nicholson in 1977, this will be ignored as long as you make a good film whilst under house arrest.
 Why is Roman Polanski not vilified around the world? I truly do not understand.
 Anyway, back to the story. Speaking in Mexico City he said “With so much invasion of eroticism, sometimes it’s not easy to stay celibate or to respect children. If on television and on the Internet and in so many media outlets there is pornography, it is very difficult to stay pure and chaste.” So this is your excuse for attacking children? If you really can’t help yourself just have a wank, it's much better for all involved. I know your Church is against that too but surely it’s less of a sin than the thing that you were trying to excuse.
 He added “Obviously when there is generalized sexual freedom it’s more likely there could be cases of paedophilia.” Ummm, no. Can you show me some evidence for that please? An email will do, just a hyperlink to the study that you are referring to. I think you might just be making that up.

 He wasn't the only Priest talking utterly offensive bollocks this week as the Bishop of Tenerife, Bishop Bernando Álvarez, tried to blame the victims.
 Now I know this was always going to happen as it is a well known phenomenon but that doesn't detract from how utterly deplorable this is. He said “There are 13 year old ado­les­cents who are under age and who are per­fectly in agree­ment with, and what’s more want­ing it, and if you are care­less they will even pro­voke you.” I just want that to linger with you a while. “and what's more wanting it”. Ah yes, the Lolita defence.
 What an absolute bastard this man is. He didn't leave it there though; he tried to blame the Gays as well.

 Although I do have to be fair, whilst the Vatican could limit the damage by admitting responsibility and having a proper investigation, the English and Welsh bit of the Church is at least trying.
 Bishops have written a letter that will be circulated to all churches expressing a “heartfelt apology and [their] deep sorrow to those who have suffered abuse”. They also recognised that there were “no excuses” for what has happened and said that it was a “profound scandal.”
 Well that is a start, now how about getting the police involved. You have admitted that many crimes have taken place and there is only one thing that you can do in this situation.

It is not only the Catholic Church that has a monopoly on blaming the innocent, oh no. A senior Muslim Cleric in Iran has said that earthquakes in the geologically unstable city of Tehran are caused by woman! No wait, come back, his reasoning is fault (ha, do you see what I’ve done there?) less.
 During the Second World War we had a saying, “Loose Lips Sink Ships” but in Iran they have one all of there own, “Loose Chicks cause significant shifts in the Earth Crust.” Whilst I agree that this is not as catchy but it does seem to be the view of some in Irania. No, really!
  Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted in the Iranian media saying “Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,”   
 The Muslim world helped shape science during our “Dark ages”, they translated the ignored Greek texts on Mathematics and Natural Philosophy, they were proper clever people, however it does seem that some of their religious leaders are a little shaky on the basics of plate tectonics. Now, to be fair to this man it may have been something to do with a mistranslation of the post-coital question, “did the earth move for you?”. Although it seems more likely that this bloke is just a bit of a misogynist, “the Christians have blamed them for the fall of man in the Garden of Eden; we need something to equal that. Ah!  I know, blame woman showing a little bit too much fringe for Earthquakes. That’ll wash.”

The good thing about our reliance on oil is that extracting it from under the ground is always safe and that there is no danger of any pollution. Oh now wait…..
 On Tuesday night an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded and caught fire. 11 crew members are still missing. It has now sunk. A short pause to think of their families please.
 Local Coastguard believe that this could lead to the ex-oil rig leaking up to 8000 barrels of oil per day into the surrounding area.
 It is claimed that the safety of rig work has improved greatly recently but since 2001 there have been 858 fires and explosions in the Gulf, according to the federal Minerals Management Service. That still sounds pretty fucking unsafe if you ask me.

 I don’t want to make you feel guilty about all the oil we use (I was trying the with the water bit at the beginning) but here is a picture of what open cast mining for Tar Sands looks like,


It used to by Canadian woodland you know. I’m not lecturing you, I’m just pointing out the realities of how we all live our lives.

 All very serious and far too religious for my liking, lets do some awards,

The Award for Any Excuse to Show Very Cool Pictures,

The Hubble space telescope is 20 years old. Happy birthday Hubble.
 It has bought many exciting discoveries or confirmed existing theories. It helped age the Universe to 13.7 billion years old, it showed that the universe is still expanding and is accelerating as it does so and it showed that there are very large black holes at the centre of most Galaxies but what I think it will be most remembered for are the simply incredible pictures that it has been sending back. As good excuse as any to look at some of those pictures,

The Award for Breaking a Stereotype,

This goes to sprinter LaShawn Merritt, Olympic and world 400m champion, is facing a 2 year ban having tested positive for a banned substance.
 His lawyer has released a statement saying that his client admitted to taking “an over-the-counter male enhancement product”. Male enhancement product? Does he mean some of those tablets that you get spam email for offering you an extra inch or 2? Is there some thing you want to tell us Mr Merritt because I always thought, oh never mind.

Good luck to those running in the London Marathon today; I hope it does get too warm for you.

I’ll leave you alone know, have a lovely week. Honestly I tried to keep it short this week but hey, it’s Sunday and what else do you have to do? xx


  1. Is the Vatican aware of the rule about stopping digging when you're in a hole?