Sunday 29 March 2009

Diana Watch

“I’ve been working with dementia for 30 years,” “In that case you are doing surprising well!”

Ah, cider in one hand, Grand Prix on the telly, laptop on lap, the sun is out, could it be any better? Ok, so I could, if pushed, think of something better but it would be hard.

Shall we get the economy stuff out of the way at the beginning? Another week and another example that economists know absolutely nothing at all. I got up at 6 o’clock to go to work and all I heard on the Today program was how inflation would be a minus figure. We were going to have deflation and the world was going to end in a big fiery ball. Society was going to fall apart. The shops would be empty of food. Those who have bomb shelters should probably use them, taking canned food and bottles so that they can store their urine for drinking later. Cannibalism would probably the sensible lifestyle choice. So it was quite a tense day for me at work wondering when it would come crashing down. By the time 5 o’clock in the afternoon came around and it was time to go home I was nervous. Would I arrive home and find a half naked significant other armed with only a weapon made from the bones of my cat, wanting to steal my liver? No. No I didn’t. I arrived home to find that all was normal and I turned on the radio to find that inflation had, in fact, risen slightly. I’m sorry? What was that? Up slightly? But you said that everything was going to end. Oh yes I remember that thing that you don’t seem to, economics is NOT A SCIENCE.
Whilst we are on about how fucked we all are, well except me, I have a small mortgage and I work for the NHS, Gordon Brown got a bit of a kick in the European Parliament by some unknown Tory bloke (although he is an MEP so it’s no wonder that he is unknown) who delivered what could be best described as a rant in the general direction of our great leader. It has become a Youtube “sensation” (but so would a waterskiing squirrel) after many bloggers linked to it. These bloggers also asked the question, why wasn’t this speech covered on the main stream media? Is it a conspiracy against the Tories or against dissenting voices? Is the Government controlling the media? Umm, no. It was covered, a bit, by the main stream media but it was described as a “largely fact free rant”. Many of the points that he made were factually incorrect. One of the other reasons was that it wasn’t that good a speech. The best line in it was plagiarised from the late John Smith, leader of the Labour Party. Conspiracy, no. Bad speech, factually incorrect and plagiarism, yes.

I live in a lovely part of the country (am I annoying? Financial reasonably secure and living in Dorset.) but there was a report on the front of our local paper that the air quality on our main road has failed to meet the European standard because of the exhaust fumes from cars and lorries. This is a truly upsetting fact. I breathe that air. My lungs are filled with that pollution. Ok, not that much and not very often but you see my point. You think that were you live is clean and lovely but it isn’t. But what to do? We have a bypass and lorries are only suppose to be here for deliveries. It is a very rare moment but I don’t know what can be done. I have no ideas. Bum.

Daily Mail and Express readers have had a fun week. Within the usual borderline racist reporting of anything that involves the word “immigration” there was also one of those stories when you wonder where there sympathies (and I use that word completely incorrectly) lie. A soldier from the Cameroon has been told by the UK Borders Agency that he is to be deported. He has come over here and fought for our country and this is how we treat him, it’s disgusting. We show our thanks by trying to deport him. Oh, there is one other little fact. He has been convicted of sexual assault and has served his prison time and so the rules say that any foreign national who is convicted of a crime is to be deported. The soldier, Chaly Gnouh, has been supported by the Royal British Legion after he spent the last year out of work. They have described his current situation as 'distressing'. Chris Simpkins, director general of The Royal British Legion, said "We are assisting Mr Ngouh with his situation and have been supporting him materially and morally.
"We would like this case to be resolved as a matter of priority and in the mean time urge that on no account should Mr Ngouh be deported."
He added, "It is distressing that someone who only wanted to be a good soldier can be treated in this way." As distressing as being sexually assaulted? Should we ignore the law because he was a soldier? If the Royal British Legion continues with this pointless and morally bankrupt fight I won’t be buying my poppy this year.

Ok, lets’ do some awards,

The Award for Reasonably Ignored Sporting Victory of the Week,

England are the world champions. That is a phrase that isn’t used as much as it could be especially as we are talking about cricket. Well done to the England Woman’s Cricket team who have become world 20/20 champions.

The Award for Slightly Bitter Middle Aged Man of the Week,

This goes to Liam Gallagher who this week described skinny fashion as “shit”. He is realising his own clothing line soon and has been doing some interviews. Do you think that one of us has hit middle age and is getting a little doughy? Is he having a bit of trouble getting into his skinny Topshop jeans? Poor bloke.

Fantastic Grand Prix by the way. A 1,2 for the new Brawn GP team. It’s a great story and a great race.

Have a good week. A little short this week but not always a bad thing.

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