Bad Coffee 3

 I have a question for people who sell coffee for a living (by this I mean the companies not the poor person standing around behind the counter barely earning minimum wage); have you ever actually tasted coffee? I only ask because I have had several very bad cups of coffee this weekend.

 I, as you know, have spent the weekend at the Hay Festival and have been paying a lot of money for things but does the cost of things relate to the quality? Hell no.

 A standard coffee and a cappuccino that actually managed to taste of nothing at all. Now, come on, you have to be impressed by that. Ground coffee was used and milk (and chocolate dusting powder stuff in the cappuccino) but still they tasted of nothing. How is this possible? Aren't there laws of physics that cover this sort of thing? I really do resent paying any amount of money for coffee that tastes of nothing.

 I promise you that I am not being snobbish amount these things, I use instant coffee a lot at home but it tastes of something. When I make ground coffee it really tastes of something wonderful.

 The third bad cup of coffee I had this weekend was no real surprise as it was served to me in Pizza Express. A double espresso was ordered and duly supplied to me. If you put 2 teaspoons of instant coffee in a very small cup and added some hot water this is pretty much what my beverage tasted like, so much so that I think that it is strongly possible that this is what happened. At least it tasted of something I suppose but this is not what an espresso should taste like.

 The important question is where does this put them on the table? Well let's have a look,

 1) TGI’s, Tower Park, Poole

 2) Wetherspoons, Dorchester

 3) Pizza Express, Hereford

 4) Service Station somewhere in the North that I can’t remember the name of

 5) Toni and Guy, Dorchester

=6) All the coffee served at the Hay Festival

=6) Slug and Lettuce, Bournemouth.

 It wasn't all coffee drinking at Hay though, there was also some avoiding of rain, oh and some people giving some talks and taking questions. The most interesting and entertaining speakers, that we saw, were Andrew Marr, AC Graying, Greyson Perry, Amanda Galsworthy, Robin Ince (actually at a different festival down the road), Giles Coren, Adam Hart Davis and Audrey Niffenegger, fantastic, one and all.

 The only downside of the festival for me, if you ignore that tutting and pointy elbows of those who suffer from Middle Class Entitlement Syndrome, was camping. I hate camping. I understand that it is the only way that we can afford to go for 5 or 6 days but what really galls me is that Significant Other really likes it.

 We went to the End of the Road festival a couple of years ago she had never camped before. My plan was that we would camp, it would be cold and rainy and rubbish, she would hate it and we would never have to do it again. This didn't work, she bloody loved it.

 I do have a question for the people of that area, what is it with you and rude shop names?

Ok, so the owner of the Daisy Chain may not know the sexual connotation of their name and, maybe, the owner of the Scissor Sisters hairdressers may have heard of the band but not that it is a slang term/euphemism for Lesbians but there is no excuse for The Spread Eagle.

Diana Watch

“Alan Bennett didn't want it so he gave it to me.”

Hello again, sorry it's Monday and you're only just reading this. Well I'm sorry it's Monday all round really as I had the nicest weekend. We spent Saturday and Sunday at the Hay Literary festival at Hay on Wye. A lovely time was had by all, helped by the excellent weather. I was in Wales and I was hot. I'm not sure if this has happened to me before.
We went to 4 events during our time there. We spent to see the Early Edition with Marcus Brigstock. We saw Sarah Walters promoting her new book and significant other got her copy signed. Today we saw the philosopher AC Grayling talking about our declining civil liberties and Simon Schama talking about his new book at tremendous speed. All of them funny and entertaining. It is a bit middle class playground but if you can get past that a good time will be had, unless you are a middle aged, middle class bloke in a linen jacket because you'll fit right in.
We took a few pictures to try and capture some of the atmosphere, see what you think,














Because there has only been MP expense based news again this week I'm only going to do some awards,

The Award for Nice Thing For London to do of the Week,

Boris Johnson, not a man who I agree with that much although he is entertaining, is going to place 30 odd pianos on street corners around our capital city so that people can have a bit of an ivory tinkle when they want. How nice is that? Just leaving some pianos, bolted down obviously, for people to play.

The Award for Newspaper Phrase I Would Advice You Not to Google,

This goes to the News of the World who described Susan Boyle for Britain's Got Talent as an “Hairy Angle”. Don't Google this, it's not pretty, unless you like that sort of thing of course.

The Award for Most Embarrassing Data Loss of the Week,

This goes to the RAF who lost a hard drive earlier in the week. It contained the personal details of many of their staff. Now this would be bad enough, a military service loosing data, but it isn't that simple. The hard drive also contained RAF files on officers and their more interesting habits and personal peccadilloes. The files contain details of senior RAF staff who have had affairs and have been caught taking drugs and many other fun things. The files were, of course, not encrypted. Oh dear, oh dear. But it is very funny.

The Award for Advertising Campaign That Encourages the Biggest Waste of Your Money of the Week,

So this could go on the spray on hair I saw advertised on the channel “Dave” last week but there is one that is so ridiculous it can not be beaten.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Volvic challenge. For those of you not familiar with this advert, some bloke says that he has been asked to drink a 1 and a half litres of water per day. You get a sort of video diary and he says he feels better at the end of the 2 week challenge. Now, there is nothing wrong with that. Being well hydrated is good for you. It aids weight loss, it's good for the skin etc. The problem is the nonsense ad speak at the end of the piece that insinuates that there is something special about Volvic that makes it different for other water. Well, yes there is. The price. The cheapest Volvic I could find was £2.20 per litre meaning that per day the Challenge will cost you £3.30. Tap water on the other hand, which has higher standards of cleanliness than bottled water, is about £1 per 1000 litres so drinking the recommended amount will cost you about 0.15 pence per day. £2.20 per day Vs £0.0015 per day. The choice seems pretty clear to me.

I'm sorry about the lack of proper news this week but I promise that I try harder next week, as long as we don't have to suffer MP's expenses too much.