Sunday, 5 April 2009

Diana Watch

Shall we start with a question? Ha ha, we already have. Anyway, does anyone else feel a little sorry for Home Secretary Jacqui Smith? I mean, her husband ordered the porn and she put the expenses claim for her broadband/TV package as normal knowing nothing. It really wasn’t her fault at all. The outrage in the press was nothing unexpected but bits of it were quite funny and some downright surreal. The Mail got a mother of 2 (like Ms Smith, do you see what they’ve done there?) to right an article about what woman think of porn. I assume that it was just her opinion rather than a balanced article in which some woman said that actually they found it a little arousing. The Express amused me the most. This is mostly because they completely ignored the fact that he might have downloaded the porn from a website that was owned by the owner of the Express and The Star (officially Britain’s cheapest newspaper, in so many ways) renowned tax avoider Richard Desmond. Nothing but outrage from them despite the fact that it only came to £10. I would like to point out to the husband of Jacqui Smith that you can get it for free on the internet. No cost for downloading Raw Meat 6, which I believe to be you movie of choice.

What is it that our press dislike about protesting? Is it because it is a thing that the French do and therefore it is a thing that we shouldn’t? Like cooking descent food and making good wine? And parenting our children properly? (See today’s Observer for more info on that) Whatever it is, our press don’t like it, even if they have been complaining about the very things that people are to protest about. I am, of course, talking about the G20 meeting related protests in London on Tuesday and Wednesday. The problem that the protesters had was that the problem of the world economic meltdown
is so vast and it’s causes so wide ranging that it is hard to mobilise the people behind you because, angry as they are, they don’t understand why. So you have people protesting about this and that and no real cohesion. Not like the million or so who marched against the war in Iraq and where completely
ignored. They had a single cause and no one important listened. Now you
have 5 or 6 thousand people campaigning for roughly 5 or 6 thousand
different reasons and no one important will listen but GMTV viewers will think
that they are terrorists due to some deeply floored reporting by that programme.
They started their piece with a brief outline of what they expected to happen, times that the protests would start etc, but these were only guides, you know what anarchists are like. They then started to broadcast precisely what the Mat police wanted them to say, such as making sure that everyone understood that everyone who was protesting was a violent criminal bent on the destruction of the capital. They then covered the very amusing advice given to bankers by the police. They were advised by the authorities to dress down for work, those of them that still had jobs that is, obviously, so that they didn’t look too much like bankers and, therefore, wouldn’t be targeted by protestors. I assumed that they would still go to work in a very large bank building whilst carrying a lunch box, looking slightly smug, which would give them away slightly. GMTV then followed this piece, with no way of explanation, with a piece on threats to President Obama’s life by interviewing a counter terrorism expert. Do you see how they have expertly mixed 2 completely separate stories and combined them in too one incorrect one?
The BBC really weren’t much better with their describing of everyone as either “Anti-capitalists” or “Green Protestors” thus ignoring the fact many there where just trying to protest their upset at the lack of accountability for ruining the world’s economy.
The fact that it all passed off rather tamely did seem to annoy the 24hr news channels as they had trailed wanton (is that the correct spelling or just Chinese food) destruction for 2 days and it didn’t happen. Some windows got smashed at the RBS building and they were all terribly disapproving of this, ignoring the fact that they have made RBS and its ex-chairman public enemy No.1. At one point a BBC reporter on the scene was heard to say, “it’s all getting a bit ugly now!” and behind him were several gormless people waving in the direction of the camera. Hardly the Poll Tax riots.
At the end of the G20 summit there was a photo call for all those involved in not really getting on top of the problem but it didn’t include the Canadian Prime Minister. Why not you may ask? Had his radical plans for global finance reform so outraged his fellow conference attendees that they had thrown him out? No, he’d gone for a pee and they didn’t wait for him. That’s just rude if you ask me.

See how much shorter the new version of this is. No rambling from me, oh no, and I’ve had beer.

Some awards now I think,

The Award for Worst Hair Cut of the Week,

This goes to this bloke who we saw in the pub on Monday whilst failing to win the quiz.


A mullet so bad that even my camera could not focus on it.

The Award for Outstanding Old Person Activity of the Week,

A 97 year old man from Dorset has become the oldest Britain to do a parachute jump. This is a story I have kept away from my Nana as I don’t want her getting ideas, what with her hip and all. George Moyse of
Bournemouth starred himself to another man, I assume that they had met before and jumped out of a plane together. A whole lot braver than me, I can tell you.

The Award for First Ducklings of the Year,

This goes to these ducklings that I saw on Tuesday. It really is spring.


The Award for Proving That New Buildings Can Be Both Practical and Pretty, of the Week,

This goes to Dorchester’s new health centre with is a fine looking building.


I would also like to give these really dull flats that have just been finished an award too but a very different one.


The Award for Proving that the Government Exists For Businesses and Not The People of the Week,

This week a Building Society collapsed. It is the Dunfermline Building Society and it’s financial problems were caused by some bad investments and a poor business plan, sound familiar, but did the Government bail it out like it did with all the banks and their shareholders? No, no they didn’t. They let it fold and the good bits were bought by another building society. A cynic might say that the Government didn’t step in because the shareholders of the Dunfermline were the people who invested in it and they don’t have the ear of the Government and paid lobbyists, unlike the Banks who do. That would be a very cynical person indeed though. Hello, my name is Martyn and I am that cynic.

Good news for the BMX loving, skateboarding youth of Dorchester, the skate park is nearly finished. I’m of to buy a BMX and break my ankle. Hope you all have a good week.

1 comment:

  1. its Ok. Stephen Harper (Canadian PM) is a dick anyway. they probably left him out on purpose....