Hell In A Hand Cart

Dear The Daily Mail,
I would like to thank you for bringing this very serious matter to my attention. I can not believe that such serious things can happen is THIS country. It really is unacceptable that a man, or an actor at least, should get his penis out on a live broadcast at 10 past 8 in the evening on the BBC, for that is exactly what John Barrowman did on Sunday. Now whilst I except that this was on Radio 1 so no one could see but it was also streamed on the internet on a live webcam feed and, again, I except that no one saw anything so my anger is completely misplaced and just looks like a really bad excuse to be angry at the BBC but that does stop me form being appalled, opportunistically I grant you, but appalled neither the less. I have to agree with the your humourless readership who have posted insightful and well thought through comments on your website, people like Jennifer from Moreton, Wirral who said ”I used to like John Boarowman but he's going down rapidly in my estimation - not a good role model. All right he's gay, we all know that, but it doesn't entitle him to to do this sort of thing.”, a very good point I think you will agree because, gays are no more allowed to wave their willies around than you or me or Margaret Harrison- Marks of Gloucester who said “I wish the BBC would take that aweful loud-mouthed exhibitionist off our screens. I switch off whichever programme he appears on.”, I mean, yes, she can’t spell awful, but she makes I point I think we can all agree on. This one is so funny and erudite, David Bourke of Rochester, Kent writes “Barrowman is so full of himself that he'd have a Civil Partnership with himself if he could.” So very funny, you should give him a job, much funnier than that Littlejohn, the bitter, hate-filled, bigoted twat, sorry fell out of character for a moment there. Carol Vincent of Ventnor, England said “It makes you want to cry, will someone please realise where the world is heading, bring back the old values and save our children and their children, please!!!”, although it is possible she is not taking it as seriously as she should, she is almost quoting Rev. Lovejoy from the Simpsons wife (which I never watch because I might be offended) “won’t someone please think of the children”, hell in a hand cart people. I agree with all the people who say they will not be watching anything he is in ever again, but that is mostly because “TorchWood” is rubbish. Clearly the people who write on the comment sections of your website are very clever but can’t spell for toffee but that’s 1930’s education for you,

Yours filled with impotent rage, oh dear I’ve offended myself by using the word “impotent” before 9 o’clock, I’ll have to complain to myself,
Martyn

Ps, good work on the number of complaints your constantly going on about the Ross/Brand generated, about 40000 I believe, shame that 50000 people complained to Ofcom about the result of one of the X-Factor shows, maybe we will get a better response next time.