Please xx

Dear The BBC,
I could not help but notice that you have a couple of vacancies that have opened up recently. I am, of course, referring to the post vacated by Russell Brand and the suspension of Jonathon Ross but also the barely mentioned Dr Who job. My significant other was deeply saddened to, just about, hear the confirmation statement from David Tennant that he would be leaving Dr Who through the howls of self flagellation and hand wringing that passed for the news last week. My suggestion is that you employ me as the new Dr Who and I will also cover for Jonathon Ross free of charge. I think we will both be getting something form this deal, you will be getting value for money which is important according to David Cameron, better even than creative and journalistic freedom, and I will be Dr Who which would be, to quote Peter Griffin, freakin’ sweet.
Please consider my offer because I will also be offering myself to BBC sport for their coverage of the formula 1 next season,

Yours Really Hopefully
Martyn Norris xx

Ps I also know what TARDIS means, know which planet he is from, in a certain light i.e. darkness, bare a passing similarity to Mr Tennant and I have my own ¾ length coat.

Pps, and this goes for Sky News as well, stop interviewing only Black people, other races voted for him as well and some of them where white.